SEMESTER BREAK AGAIN, FINALLY

I don't know how on earth I did it, but I survived Death Week. I might not have gotten a lot of sleep, and I have ugly stress-pimples on the side of my face now but Death Week is O.V.E.R. and I have 3 weeks of break to look forward to now!!

All I'm going to do is
1. sleep
2. eat
3. read
4. blog

with smatterings of DIY crafts, writing, cycling and other stuff I'm too tired to think of and lacking motivation to do.

I'm hoping to whatever higher power that I get relatively good grades this semester considering the amount of shit I went through, because if I don't I will be sorely disappointed at myself and I doubt I can handle next semester's subjects very well.

Also, ALISON TAN. YOU ENJOY YOURSELF IN AMERICA OKAY. OMG GIRL. YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST. *cries*

Thank you for being a brilliant best friend, love all the silly things we've done. :)

We'll be fated to meet each other again, don't you worry!

Looking forward to all my socializing later this week! (⊙‿⊙✿)

The Toad Comes Back

In regards to the influx of animals appearing in my house, I'd just like to say that it is not necessarily a bad thing. Except the rats must go; unless they're the small white mice that are adorably cute and toilet trained.

So one night I came home to a symphony of croaking and general toad-noises. Surprised at seeing toads hopping around my gate, I decided to take a look:

...and I was even more surprised when remember when I saved a tiny frog (?) from kittens. I hope it's the same frog/toad that stayed... or maybe it's offspring. xD But right now they're like my little pets, and the best part is that I don't get annoyed by them because my dad's master bedroom is the one that faces the pond HAHAHAHA.

Similarities

Yay double post. But I figured since the previous post was short and silly, double posting is acceptable in this case.

Recently I've been lurking around blogs. Not my own (through yes I read through them occasionally and laugh at them) but other people's. And honestly speaking there in nothing in my blog that differentiates me from all those other blogs out there. Reading through a certain someone's posts I can honestly say, to another person these two blogs would look the same, read the same, and be of the same unimportance. It leaves an unpleasant taste in my mouth to say that I agree.

Many things I read, I understood. The feelings and the meanings behind the veiled words. I know because I've written the same damn things before.

This breezy vapid life
Has life ever been this hard?

In a way I am jealous because I see what I could have been in a different time, place, dimension. I see the songs I like now- and I see them appearing in the journal of another, long before my time.

I'm jealous because the experiences of another is something I can't experience... The words written are just words that are meaningless and generic but to the writer it holds a thought that hides inside. Who am I to barge in on memories of life before I knew the existence of you? Who am I to walk the younger years with you in the state of virtual suspension of time? Who am I to think anything I do now can affect you, or vice versa?

My mouth lies and denies vehemently that I'm okay and I'm fine; my mind tells me to shut up and get a hold of myself; my heart skips a beat with every paragraph I read and what I fear to see catches my eye. Yet I cannot stop, not even with unstable Internet connection, not even with assignments to do.

I don't know you at all and yet I feel a connection with you, a fellow blogger. It's possible that you may know of me- of me, that's the key word- but it's unlikely that you care enough to see this. For I am wrong and paranoid, and you're... not.

But I still don't like you, for selfish reasons.

All These Hits

Truthfully I must say that I have never gotten this amount of hits on my blog before. Honestly speaking it scares me a little.

What I want to know is how did you people find me! I'm really quite curious to know how this amount of people stumbled upon my blog and actually read my stuff! Surely Facebook alone couldn't have generated this amount of hits?? I would be really glad to get to know you guys. :)

Look at all this green.

It surprises me how Hooligans in the Park is the most viewed blog post. For one it was just a short rant and two, it wasn't really directed at anyone... It was just an incident that happened with le petit ami. Er. It wasn't even shared.

What made you guys come here though? Was there a journey involved to clicking into my blog? Did many of you stay? Please do comment, I'd love to hear from all of you. :D

While I try to finish writing my drafts and start on some other posts, here is a collection of .gifs that I find perfectly describes my feels when I check back each day and see my stats increasing. 

My Laptop is Bigger on the Inside

I've got my earphones in and no music playing. Previously I was listening to Scouting for Girls but I paused it because I cannot focus on anything else.

Bean is hiding behind my internet browser windows, the document unsaved and untitled. I'm half way through it, I've lost track of what to write. Skype is in the foreground, one name staring blankly back at me. Later when the little sign turns green I will hover my mouse over it and be even more distracted than ever.

Pulp Fiction is frozen in the second desktop. Someone has just killed someone and it's a blurry stagnation of plot twists and actors pretending to act pretending to play a part. Sometimes movies are messed up, sometimes I think that this is life.

I'm supposed to be doing homework. There is a window on a wikipedia article about pre-Socrates philosophers. On Thursday I will choose one of them, dress up in a toga, and put on an exaggerated accent for the amusement of the class. I suppose I'll enjoy it.

Stress has been getting to me. Not even le petit ami can help me with this. Sometimes I don't know why I stress out so much; other times I want to drop everything and walk out on life.

But we only have one try and that's like quitting in the middle of a game and then you never get to know the ending.

Like KH:3D, which I haven't even finished.

Hooligans in the Park

It is sad how people these days can't seem to sit back and enjoy life as it comes by. Maybe they think that's for pussies, or that there's no point in being "lazy" and doing nothing. Why must everything be in a rush? Why must you do everything with a frown on your face? Why must everything be so serious?

When was the last time you called someone special and spent the whole day together doing absolutely nothing in particular?

Le petit ami and I were hanging about Kiara Hill one afternoon, and just talking. It was great being able to talk endlessly about everything and anything. Just feeling content and happy. SEE IT IS GREAT TO HAVE A BEST FRIEND BOYFRIEND JUST SAYING OKAY.

We sat on the pavement after we finished a round mostly cuz I was tired. Conversation didn't stop though... Until some guy came up to us and told us unkindly to shut up because we were talking too loud and bothering people and that they were laughing at us since we were at a public place. Apparently you can't talk in Kiara Hill, because it's improper. Then he left with the air of someone who had 'set things right'. Like those ridiculously religious people who tells people that gays are unnatural and should change to being heterosexual instead. Because it is 'proper'.

I felt really bummed after that; what was a perfectly awesome afternoon jarred me uncomfortably from my rooted sense of contentment and bliss. How tragic.

Imagine if I was with my mother and talking animatedly. Would we have been interrupted? What if a pair of male best friends just hung out and talked about football and shoved each other around like proper bros do; would they have been asked to be quiet for being too noisy? Why is it always the couples that get the short end of the stick- that people tend to frown upon or disagree or turn away in contempt. We're still perfectly capable social beings y'know. Just because we're stupidly in love doesn't mean we're completely in another world. Neither does it mean that we're going to take this negative shit from you.

Love used to be so much more hopeful. Now it's just something that's dragged through mud and thrown across the street.

I have no idea whether that man genuinely thought it was his duty to tell us to shut up, or that he was in a bad mood, or that he felt it was inappropriate for us to act like we were- or that we really were being inappropriate- but I think I could have lived with not knowing the fact that we bothered other people.

Perhaps I'm just thinking too much about this; perhaps it was a lesson to be learned... But it's itching at the back of my mind. And questions are floating up again.

Then again I usually take advice from the fates.

Either way I suppose this would be the appropriate place to remind myself

How to Impress People With Your Non-existant Cooking Skills

I've never been any good at cooking. The best I've done is make instant noodles. But for all the other cooking-idiots out there, there are tricks to come up with a ridiculously simple dish that would impress people who previously never thought you knew how to turn on the gas.

Fried rice is the epitome of a ridiculously easy meal. An 8-year-old can fry rice. So can you.

The best thing about fried rice is that there are no fixed recipes for it. You can add anything you like, and excluded anything you don't like. Even to that though, there are some basic things you should have, which I will list.

Things you need to prepare:

• A wok. Or frying pan, but a wok is better. 

See, this is how cooking fried rice feels like.

• Oil. Any sort of oil would work. If you don't have any, butter is a nice substitute. Margarine is not advisable.
• Rice. (Cooked rice, mind you.) You can use left-over rice from the day before, but make sure it has been refrigerated. Leave to room temperature if that's the case.
• Vegetables. Many people are disgusted with vegetables and don't want them anywhere close to their mouths, but vegetables are found in many dishes for the simple reason that they are good. And I mean taste-wise. Vegetables add flavor to the dish, and since fried rice is generally tasteless, you MUST have at least one kind of vegetable to mix. (The more the merrier!) A good base would be cabbage and carrots. I personally like to add tomatoes.
• Eggs. Crack them open and beat them until they have bubbles on the surface. Personally I like to add a small dollop of mayonaise to make the egg fluffier. Beat continuously. Make sure the egg mixture is very light and bubbly!!!

Bubbly egg, like this.

• Meat. (Optional) Take a small piece of meat, boneless. Let it thaw if it's been kept in the fridge and make sure it's soft.
• Seasonings. Here you can go crazy. Get soy sauce, salt, a small amount of ajinomoto if you so feel like, but keep in mind that this will be how your fried rice will taste like. If you feel like sweet fried rice, sure, but a good tip is to NEVER overdose on the salt.

Great, now that you have all these things, it's simple enough after a short grocery trip. Now comes the fun part. You get to play around... WITH A MOTHAFUCKIN' KNIFE.

Cutting shit up, with a chainsaw.

First, you cut shit up.

Get the meat and SLICE, DICE and STAB THE THING until it's dice-sized cubes. If you think you're chef enough, marinate the meat to get some flavor.

Now get the green stuff. Chop the vegetables until they're just shreds of fiber. Don't mash them though. Small pieces will suffice.

After all this, don't forget to clean the blood off your weapon knife and keep it. Set the wok or pan over the stove and let it heat while you take a rest. Here, have a beer for all that hard work. After the wok heats up (you can stick your hand onto it to check its temperature, however insurance does not cover intentional self-burning), add about two spoonfuls of oil. Let the oil heat up.

If you have prepared meat, fry it first. throw them into the wok gently and stir fry. Basically just move the meat around with the spatula so it doesn't stick to the wok. Fry until cooked, then take them out and leave it aside.

Add more oil. Now time to fry those leafy green things! Just stir them around until they look cooked. Make sure they go through immense pain. Take them out.

You can already imagine the screams.

Now we fry the egg!! Add oil again. Pour the egg mixture and let it cook. You don't have to worry about it not being perfect, you're going to mess it all up anyways. Try to let it cook until it's not too liquid, but still soft.

Now after this, throw the rice in. Add whatever seasoning you feel like, and mix the rice thoroughly with the egg. By this point you should lower to a small fire. Mix together the rest of the stuff you've cooked and then make changes to the dish according to taste.

When you deem it edible, spoon it out on a plate and there you have it: Fried rice.

Yeah your shit ain't gonna look as good as this, but just

 be sure you don't put anyone in the hospital.

KH:3D and Other Things

Ah well. The curtain lifted on the issue with the Boyfriend... That's a good thing. Though what first made me worry... I thought we had set ground rules. == Apparently someone forgot them. Sigh. It's quite confusing, really. :\ Although this shouldn't be a problem...? I guess kinks would happen every now and then, it's quite unavoidable. Fortunately they can be worked out. C:

I'm blogging now because I foresee two weeks or so of my head in my 3DS because I managed to get my hands on KH:3D!!!!! Thank you so much, Brandon! I owe you a huge one!!! >w<

Poetry is coming to an end now... I'm just glad I managed to breakthrough somewhat. Instead of "tightly controlled, shallow" work I suppose I'm hitting on something a little closer to home? Obviously zombies don't work. xD

Film class worries me though. :( It's quite sad to see Mr Rey angry in every other class because no one at the back would speak up! People! TALK! As he's said, it's not a good habit of Malaysians to sit still and be passive! It's a horrendous habit! Stop it! I want to answer his questions, but then I wait for you guys to answer because he doesn't want answers from me anymore. == It's not that hard. His questions are easy! They're not textbooks answers, it's logic, it's the things he's mentioned in class, again and again. Or maybe that's why you guys find it hard? Because answers can't be found on a textbook?

Mood swings have taken hold of me. That's not a good sign. It annoys me that I'm silently furious half the time now. I hate this. This is why I didn't want to break that comfort zone I had, because now I have to deal with all these shit. //rage

But then again. I guess I have to thank Ms Bernice for making me break that comfort zone... :\ I'll work it out.

Well then.

It's close to 6pm on this day of my father's birthday. Ironically he isn't here and I'm waiting for my mom to pick me up to go to his birthday dinner.

Hmm.

Not really sure what to write. I have plenty of things to write, but I'm not sure what exactly to write about now. Maybe my fabulous new clothes.

Shit has been happening. I think I'm caught in that spot between traditional thinking and free thinking. Conservative culture and liberal culture.

It breaks my heart, really it does.

It hurts that she doesn't understand me. I don't even feel like she's trying. She just instantly rejects my thoughts or opinions once they don't sound right to her. If she sees this though, she'll probably yell at me for putting words into her mouth again. Unfortunately this is exactly what she's doing. I just put it in a very harsh way. It hurts even worse that we used to be so close together.

I'm pretty sure there's something I can do, but I've tried being nice and friendly to no avail, so I'm done with this shit.

There are a lot of things I probably could have forgiven in the past, but not now. Now I'm my own person so I'd like to have my own opinions, thanks.

Hahahaha my parents would probably scream that I'm too much influenced by American culture. Ironically I was put in ADP by them so really they're got no meat to that. Also it's called voicing out. Generally asians tend to conform. I don't want to anymore.

I think I'll just go camwhore in my fabulous new clothes now. :\

Midnight Updates

I actually have a lot of things to update... The trip I took with my family to Tanjung Sepang (I think...?); a over-the-weekend Penang trip, that Wednesday night when we ventured to the Taman Connaught pasar malam... I can't believe 3 weeks has already passed since then. WHAT HAVE I BEEN DOING OTL

This week is going to be a busy week for me... A lot of Sociology research due in the near future, my History 102 debate on Thursday, History 102 Mid-terms on Friday, Malaysian Studies video due sometime soon...

Sometimes I wished I didn't procrastinate, but then again I'm pretty sure if I didn't procrastinate I wouldn't be as efficient as I am today. Hahaha. Excuses! I am so used to doing last-minute work. It's like if I don't do my work last-minute I'll be confused and lost.

But okay no, I've really started reading up on History now okay. :( I can't wait until this Saturday! :D For our Sociology community service my class decided on helping out the Soup Kitchen! We'll be patrolling the back alleys of KL scouring out homeless people and giving them food. C: I would probably make me feel really good and stuff. :D Like one of those saint-people. Like Mother Teresa, only with less contact because I despite how selfish this would sound I really am not looking forward to touching them. :\

I haven't even started doing the props for the TWEWY cosplay... /headdesks Although tbh it's not really a rush, but every time I see that pack of paper clay sitting on the coffee table I'll feel slightly bad about it and stuff.

Then I see the doll's dress next to it and I wait patiently for my plastic clip rings to arrive. C: Yay!

Oh god this was supposed to only be like a super short update/post because I'm half-way doing my Sociology research. :C Uh. But at the same time I can't find any relevant articles as of yet so... Oh well. I guess my ranting skills bleed into typing as well. Tsk.

I Lied.

I remember distinctly promising to update more. I honestly never imagined that being in college will be equivalent to even less time to blog. :\

But then now that I have a car to drive and a laptop to use, I think I can work this out. After all, a wise man once told me that you can always find, or make, time to do what you want.

To sum up 7 weeks would be hard, especially with the crazy amount of things I did and participated in. The first event that is sufficiently epic enough to blog would be the ADP Cup Amazing Race, which is awesome and more awesome. Being tired is not a problem.

Basically I learned that one: never wear sandals to run around the entire KL and
two: It is good to know where pubs are and how to get to them.

Thankfully we had mummy Nat to herd us around like a pack of sheep, so everything went superbly fine.

MOSHIES MOSH LIKE A BOSS

We took it so easy, it was funny.

Also, crashed at Chyi's house during the school holidays. Her house so large, I jelly. :( Her dog is still so adorable. ADORABLEEEEE!! But I think she doesn't want me to pamper her dogs (and freak her out) more than I already have, so she tempted me with her PS2. I was suitably tempted.

Last Saturday Brandon drove Louis, Jas and I to a certain convention, where we learned that Louis has nice legs and is secretly lesbian. Also, I got called cute by two adorably cute kids of the age of 14 and 16, which is so much fail I don't even-

Okay so I look young. But still. :( I hate my Sasuke wig. However, we met up with Angela! :D I LUBB YOU ANGELA~ ♥

Getting there.

Say hello to Brandonita!

Disappointed at the lack of KH merchandise. :(

 

Jas-chan! Y U DRAW ME SHO CUTE! ;v;

Louis' trap.

The Brandon that looks like Er Whey.

...What are you guys planning to do?

Operation Flower-suke: Complete

Flower-suke apparently has a few minor side-effects, like losing one's mind.

You don't want to know.

RAWR. I AM NINJA.

I was trying very hard to look serious. Truly.

And every Sasuke needs an emo Sasuke pose!

Dinner.

And despite it being midterm week for the rest of the ADPians, I find myself being unusually free. How delightfully odd.

I am up to the Atlantica world on Kingdom Hearts I, and I'm hoping to finish it by this weekend. GAIZ! I AM MAKING PROGRESS!! :D (In terms of gaming, of course... *cough cough*)

Speaking of gaming, L4D is harder than L4D2. Why is it so? @__@

The Pains Of Going Hungry...

I need better control over myself especially when it comes to buying things. Every time I have money in my wallet I use them all. Especially if there comes up something that catches my eye.

Not particularly that I want it, or even need it, just... catches my eye.

Shit.

Anyway, it's only Tuesday and I have $15 left in my wallet. That's just sad, isn't it? And since it isn't enough for 2 full meals, I decided to do the dumb thing and wait 'till dinner to eat, because I'll be having dodgeball later. And I would've skipped if I hadn't been confirmed of skipping on Thursday 'cuz of my driving lessons, which wouldn't have been postponed if Lab didn't start this week

I'm trying to rationalize my actions while raving mad.

Hunger makes me go so mad, I only just noticed. The intense bad mood threatened to ruin my whole day. It did not help that ADP classrooms are about as comfortable as the North Pole, really.

Fucking hell, I'm so hungry. T^T

So much for that diet plan, eh, Natalie?

Legally Adult ≠ Mature

Phyllis demands a blog that has more sarcasm, wit and general nastiness that is equivalent to my age. I will try.

Apparently at this point in time I should be moaning about how terrible Malaysian politics are. To quote my uncle, 

So Anwar is a free man...kudos to our judicial system, real 3rd class. Malaysia is f@cked for sure! Time to think about migrating to North Korea.

And this is supposed to make sense. I thought the entire Anwar case was some bullshit story UMNO tried to pull out of their ass? (WTF pun not intended.) Malaysian politics confuse the hell out of me, and it's not that I don't try.

Which is why instead of solving a ridiculous story of plausible sodomy through well thought out arguments and supportive points which I should be doing as a debater, I will be making mean and completely untrue remarks and bad jokes about North Korea. Which, being first and foremost, the Land Where The Weirdos Lie.

I'm not actually kidding. This firmly ingrained disposition towards North Korea as a general country wasn't so firmly ingrained until I watched Blades Of Glory, especially when cutting off people's heads in an attempt to perform a physics-defying trick is legal, like human testing. Blades Of Glory was also the first movie that introduced me to "ghey" acts, such as two dudes sliding across a floor of ice and bumping their crotch together in tight spandex. My young innocence was shattered then. That the guy in blue and pretended to be a peacock and seemed to want to do inexcusable stuff to the guy in red was also sort of obvious. The whole gay-vibe wasn't even completely removed with the presence of a whiny girl who suffers guilt-issues and wants to sex up the blue ghey peacock guy.

I need to watch better movies.

Anyway, North Korea has been all over the internet thanks to the death of Kim Jong Il. His death has not been spared from memes. However this can be taken to light in a good way, such as notifying the 76% of people in North America and Mexico of a country called "North Korea", which is surprisingly not the place plastic surgery-made walking Barbies that can warble in an alien language are made. They're pretty close, though.

The citizens of North Korea mourn for Kim Jong Il. The netizens of North Korea are responsible for 98% of Kim Jong Il memes. There is obviously a lot of politics involved.

I'm pretty sure South Korea is completely unaffected, however. Perhaps they feel a bit better knowing that their mass-produced walking plastic surgeries come to life are raking in millions and putting them on the world map by mediocre singing, acting, and the insane lust for fan-ship. Has no one really noticed how all of them look like they're got the same nose jobs?

It's late and my head is muddling up and I can't write properly now. Perhaps some other time I will continue my rant on K-pop. Also do not expect South Korea jokes to stop anytime soon.