It's Okay To Be Angry.

Sometime last week I found this on Taylor's Confession page... And judging by how often we hang out at SLC and how many other couples give foot massages (read: none) I have no doubt it was directed at le petit ami.

Friends kept telling me that my anger was unnecessary and that it shows how insecure I am in my relationship. That I need to trust him, and just take a chill pill.

Let me get things straight: I am not insecure that le petit ami will run off with some other girl, because thinking that is not only far-fetched, it is an insult to him. I am, however, angry that some girls think it is okay to think of other people's boyfriends this way.

First let me address something rather alarming at the response I get: why do people say I shouldn't get angry? In fact, what is there to not get angry about? I feel violated at this statement. I feel violated on behalf of  le petit ami as well. To make it easier to digest my analysis, this confession has the following:

1. Acknowledgement of a public relationship between two people
2. Subsequent disregard of the girlfriend
3. Replacement of self into the role of the girlfriend
4. Assumption that my boyfriend would heed his/her offer of sex without love and commitment

Is my anger clear now? On all levels this person has disrespected both of us and our relationship together. A relationship that, mind you, has been smooth sailing and high flying for close to a year.

In this case I again strongly enforce that it is not wrong to be angry for the right reasons. Someone disrespecting you/your partner/your relationship IS a right reason.

Yes, this person is just saying stuff on the Internet, where bullshit can be said with no consequences, yes s/he shouldn't be a threat to our relationship if we're strong enough, yes I should trust my boyfriend... but while I do all this why am I told be chill? Why can't I be angry to defend myself?

Which brings me to secondly: the dignity of such a person. How on earth do you disrespect someone else's relationship like that? How much disrespect do you have towards yourself to offer your body in exchange for such a service, with someone you don't know and don't love? You're like a cashless version of a prostitute: I don't think I missed the mark when I name you 'bitch'. There is a great deal of hate for the third party in relationships meant for two, and there is a reason why: they don't deserve any respect, because they don't have any, for themselves or for others.

Le petit ami and I discussed the possibility of the person maybe just admiring our relationship and how well I'm treated. But I'm sensitive to words. I know this person isn't coming from the point of admiration, but selfish want. The want to have someone treat him/her like that. Look, if you want a great boyfriend, firstly be the sort of person that matches up to a great person.

For context: a great boyfriend won't cheat. If you can get a boyfriend by being the third wheel (and eventually kicking out the previous girlfriend and becoming the second), what stops the boyfriend from doing the same to you? Dumping your sorry ass for another third wheel? And so obviously he's not a great boyfriend. In short, don't do this third wheel shit because karma will come back and fuck you up.

So will the previous girlfriend, she'd probably key your car and bust his tyres, just sayin'.

It all boils down to respect: respect others, and they'll respect you too.

(Ps. There has been two other confessions about how cute le petit ami is and I wholly agree with those because of the lack of malicious motives behind such confessions. I don't get angry for nothing.)

KH:3D and Other Things

Ah well. The curtain lifted on the issue with the Boyfriend... That's a good thing. Though what first made me worry... I thought we had set ground rules. == Apparently someone forgot them. Sigh. It's quite confusing, really. :\ Although this shouldn't be a problem...? I guess kinks would happen every now and then, it's quite unavoidable. Fortunately they can be worked out. C:

I'm blogging now because I foresee two weeks or so of my head in my 3DS because I managed to get my hands on KH:3D!!!!! Thank you so much, Brandon! I owe you a huge one!!! >w<

Poetry is coming to an end now... I'm just glad I managed to breakthrough somewhat. Instead of "tightly controlled, shallow" work I suppose I'm hitting on something a little closer to home? Obviously zombies don't work. xD

Film class worries me though. :( It's quite sad to see Mr Rey angry in every other class because no one at the back would speak up! People! TALK! As he's said, it's not a good habit of Malaysians to sit still and be passive! It's a horrendous habit! Stop it! I want to answer his questions, but then I wait for you guys to answer because he doesn't want answers from me anymore. == It's not that hard. His questions are easy! They're not textbooks answers, it's logic, it's the things he's mentioned in class, again and again. Or maybe that's why you guys find it hard? Because answers can't be found on a textbook?

Mood swings have taken hold of me. That's not a good sign. It annoys me that I'm silently furious half the time now. I hate this. This is why I didn't want to break that comfort zone I had, because now I have to deal with all these shit. //rage

But then again. I guess I have to thank Ms Bernice for making me break that comfort zone... :\ I'll work it out.

The Anger Switch

Everybody has an anger switch, that one little thing that will turn you from a gentle person to raging ball of fury. Sometimes, looking back, it seems that it wasn't that big an issue to lose your head over it, but you couldn't control the anger at that particular moment, when your anger switch was triggered.

Which is why it is of the utmost importance that you find your anger switch, to save yourself and others the hurt, pain and confusion that will surely come with the accidental trigger of your anger switch.

My anger switch is when someone tells me that I go against who I think I am. To put in simpler terms, I hate it when someone tells me that I'm doing things that goes against my own morals or characteristics that I hold in high regard. For example, I know that I am good in English, has an uncanny sense of direction, and I am a very loyal friend. If someone were to say, for example, "Your English is terrible." or "You have a terrible sense of direction." or "You always backstab your friends, don't you?" I am going to bite his/her head off so violently he/she would wish he/she were in a video game.

I don't really mind much if they have proper evidence to support themselves, like telling me where my English is terrible, and how I can improve it; or when I really do lose my way someplace (highly unlikely) and just teasingly; but when you bring something up when I am just awake, you have insulted me and left me unprepared to control my anger switch, and I will slam the door, thank you very much. Although in today's case I'd say I did a rather good job of not yelling and calming myself down.

Triggers for my anger switch change across time, but not dramatically. A few years back I could easily lose my head over someone telling me I draw like shit, but now I have accepted the fact that yes, I draw like shit. A little better than shit, but not much.

Pinpointing my own anger switch lets me lose my anger less often, and increased my lifespan by a good few years due to not losing my anger that much. It has also let me seen that I am indeed an egoistical person who isn't willing to tell me what to do, and I have no idea whether that's good or not.

Either way, don't flip my anger switch. Especially concerning my sense of direction.

But feel free to point out all my other flaws, like being shit in drawing, or having the tidying skills of a raccoon.