...And Before January Ends

I have a very good feeling about 2015. This semester I'm in a brand new environment with a brand new outlook.

One of the greatest change this year is that I've gotten a lot more organized. I've got files for each of my classes, I've got a sweet little planner that's filling up surprisingly quickly, and I've got a countdown timer to spur me on. Strangely enough, all these little things do indeed seem to make this year leap with positivity.

Last year, I was unmotivated and under achieving. My apathy stemmed to all parts of my life. This year... In this one month of 2015 I've stopped horsing around and actually got shit done. In fact, I've gotten so much shit down so efficiently I'm a little amazed at myself. Of course, it's only been a week of school, but I already feel so much more comfortable. My schedules are workable and efficient, and I'm so glad about that. I wish I had invested in planners sooner, but oh, what can one do but not look back in anger (brownie points for whoever caught that song reference.)

Most of the credit I give to my friends; they were the ones who bring me places and discuss ideas (over food), they accompany me to buy things I need (planner and files haha) and they generally just made my life so much easier. Honestly I'm so glad I found a group of such wonderful people so quickly. It's my good fortune to be friends with them.

I guess right now the only thing I wish I could improve is cooking. I've gotten so tired of cooking things for one person that I'm eating a whole lot more instant noodles than I should. (This has, fortunately, not shown on my bikini body... yet.) Of course, I can always make extra stuff and eat leftovers throughout the week, but le petit ami does not allow it- and I have to agree, somehow leftovers and me just don't mix very well. What I'm excited about is when it gets warmer, and I can bring cold pasta salads or sandwiches for lunch that won't be an absolute mess by the time it gets there.

Boo to cold foggy winter weather.

In terms of classes, I think I'll be able to handle them without too much of a problem. Perhaps in the middle of the semester I'll cry myself to sleep swamped under piles of studying and assignments, but I'm hopeful that if I plan my time right I can avoid that.

Truthfully, my motivation comes from the appeal of summer break. I finally get to go home! I can't wait to see my loved ones... and of course this must be paired with ten courses of good ol' Malaysian food! I'm counting down the literal days before I can see this on my way home again. Home!

What Facebook Does

To be honest, I'm not exactly having the time of my life here. I'm struggling to make friends, to be a part of the community, to be noticed. Most of the time I'd rather just stay at home and watch Once Upon A Time (a post for next time, or Tumblr).

So naturally I scroll Facebook. And I see my friends- they're all so popular now, so pretty, so grown up. They've made friends and families and memories. They dress so well and look so good.

In my room, on this chair where the springs dig into my thigh, I feel so left out. I haven't felt pretty in so long... My skin is dry and not for the lack of lotion I slather on daily. My cheeks have been sunburnt without being noticed and I'm pretty sure I was never so hairy. I try to take selfies on days when I don't feel like a complete waste of atoms but I always delete them. I try to dress up but I'm never good enough. I try to make the best decisions but I never know if they are. I feel frustrated and unhappy and it's never a good thing to have.

Then I remind myself that I don't have to be miserable. Because I have friends, and family. They may not be with me now but they're there for me. I have the love of my life, the one person who keeps me going every day. The one person who keeps my spirit up with kind words and adorable pictures. And I realize I don't have to take unnaturally pretty selfies for the world- I just need to take selfies for that one person- to show him my smiles and stupid faces, because he likes those best.

Tomorrow morning, I'll dress up and feel pretty. And even if I don't, I'll enjoy myself.

JAPAN!

This week I'll be flying off to the Land of the Rising Sun with my TAS friends, and I am so excited!

I've never been overseas without adult supervision before so this is a new first, a step out into the world of journeys and adventure! All the new things that can happen!

I have yet to pack, but I have my whole wardrobe planned out in my head already... Well, at least that would make packing easier wouldn't it! Haha!

To be honest though, I'm more excited to meet another culture. To see how other people do things and go about their daily life. The way they dress, talk, commute. The Japanese are well known to be neat, polite and efficient. I'd love to understand how such a culture thrives in contrast to Malaysia.

We're going to be walking around a lot though, and currently the most (vain) problem on my mind is 'What shoes to bring?????' hahahaha!

Of course we're only going for a week or so, but still I'm sure it's going to be awesome! :D

Just a few more hours and we'll be breathing Japan air! :DDD

TAS is Family

Ohana means family. And family means no one gets left behind.

TAS is my family. Extended family to be there always.

It's strange how the idiom 'blood is thicker than water' has changed its meaning completely... in the beginning it means that 'blood' shared between people- whether it be sworn blood brothers or the closest of friends, is stronger even than the kin with whom one shares the womb with- 'water'.

In terms of the old sense of the phrase I do agree quite heartily.... Many a times I feel like TAS is my second family, in our SLC living room... imagining if a whole group of us staying together in one mansion like the Oneida community... it'd be brilliant!

It's strange that we trust each other so much after, when you think about it, just some lunches together or weekly meetings. My parents love reminding me that there are no true friends who stay by you: that in the end we're all using each other for our own gain and benefit.

It's a cruel, disillusioned way of looking at the world, but I don't want to think that way. In the same way that I believe respect and communication is a two-way street, so is friendship.

So yes, I miss my TAS family. I haven't seen them in so long, I haven't talked and hung out and went for yum cha and laughed at each other over spicy sausage.

But still I'm sure we're family, and no one gets left behind. :)

Growing Up With Board Games

A couple of months back my sister and I stumbled upon a quaint, cozy place with a fantastic twist: a café themed around board games. Since then we've gone back a couple of times, because they give a voucher thing with each receipt and they have a pre-paid card with special rates.

Board games mean something special to me, having grown up with the happier part of my childhood being involved with playing board games with the adopted family. There's always time for board games, I'm always in the mood for board games. It's simply the best.

What first began as a hunt for frozen yoghurt (we were disappointed that Tutti Frutti in Kota Damansara had closed down) ended up with us playing board games with New Zealand Natural ice cream to satisfy our sweet tooth. (Coincidentally, NZN is my favorite ice cream brand- so of course the large banner caught my attention.)

Our first game we were introduced to is Ubongo, a puzzle-based game where you had to fit all the pieces into the board within the time limit and collect stones. It's not as easy as it looks! xD

Enjoying our ice cream and cake at the same time.

The other game is Blokus, one of my favorites, which you literally try to dominate the board and be a cockblock to everyone else.

The next game we tried included pandas and bamboos, and it included lots of limiting factors and things to consider, so it took quite a while.

There was also a fun kiddish-game including ghosts, mice, chairs and colors. Adorable!

There was one last game that included trains and train tracks and it's awesome (and I won it) but unfortunately I don't have the pictures for that. :( But I won that game, and it was great. :D

Food at the Border City Cafe is at best, mediocre. It does make things a little more fun and warm though, and they have a variety of finger food and pastas (also slightly cold all-day breakfasts). Evidently food does make the heart fonder!

Drinks to accompany our scheming.

I was pretty happy because they really do treat customers as friends, and you can have a polaroid taken on the first visit to put up on the wall. (I'm sure you can ask for it back, though- I should have just taken mine home with me, haha.)

The rest of shop was decorated with boardgames (for sale, too) from various different countries and and super comfortable seating arrangements for an optimum group of 4 or above.

All in all, Border City Café is quite a comfortable place to hang out with friends, and they open till late as well. It's worth visiting again!

Mind Palaces and Appreciating Things

February has come and is nearly gone, and yet I have barely written anything worth mentioning at all.

It has recently come to my attention, however, that I have gradually stopped reaffirming my thankful and appreciative habits, so here's kicking myself into the zone to love life and live life.

• my family is 300% amazing
• this includes my extended family
• of which my grandmother peaks at a 765% amazing rate
• le petit ami ♥︎
• all the pretty cute things I own
• all the useless but adorable impulse buys
• the ability to even afford such things
• friends who buy me things
• friends who buy me food
• friends
• the House of Vorosmarthy
• the TAS famiry
• 异类
• the amazing childhood friends that never lost touch
• the amazing not-quite-childhood friends that sorta lost touch but still stalk constantly
• learning about love
• learning the meaning of love
• learning how to love
• learning how to in general be a better person
• I have the privilege to study and learn
• even more so the opportunity to do it at my own pace
• to find my own interests and develop them
• the ability to write and communicate through words
• which I do so on a laptop
• a very good laptop
• my favorite one
• unlimited internet access
• torrents
• movies
• snacks
• good food
• more food
• best food
• all kinds of food
• desserts
• yum

The list will go on forever, because there is always something to smile over. Things that remind me of good times, of good people, of good effort.

I might write about them, but they're short (but of course that does not necessarily mean it's bad) and the train of thought loses itself quickly in my mind palace.

I'll have to organize my mind palace...

SEMESTER BREAK AGAIN, FINALLY

I don't know how on earth I did it, but I survived Death Week. I might not have gotten a lot of sleep, and I have ugly stress-pimples on the side of my face now but Death Week is O.V.E.R. and I have 3 weeks of break to look forward to now!!

All I'm going to do is
1. sleep
2. eat
3. read
4. blog

with smatterings of DIY crafts, writing, cycling and other stuff I'm too tired to think of and lacking motivation to do.

I'm hoping to whatever higher power that I get relatively good grades this semester considering the amount of shit I went through, because if I don't I will be sorely disappointed at myself and I doubt I can handle next semester's subjects very well.

Also, ALISON TAN. YOU ENJOY YOURSELF IN AMERICA OKAY. OMG GIRL. YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST. *cries*

Thank you for being a brilliant best friend, love all the silly things we've done. :)

We'll be fated to meet each other again, don't you worry!

Looking forward to all my socializing later this week! (⊙‿⊙✿)

Prom Night

What a prom. What a prom.

Sure prom is overrated and silly, but it was still an amazing night. Probably one I'll never forget.

It saddens me how the aptly named theme Bittersweet struck a chord. The thought that after prom, we're all going to be leaving to different places. Ali and Leanne won't be in Taylor's to hang out with anymore... No more lunch sessions or girl talk or dirty little secrets.

Le petit ami dressed incredibly for the night. <3 I'm so proud of him! Whoever knew the guy with the hobo pants and sad house shirts could clean up to be the best gentleman in town? Because that's exactly what he is, a proper gentleman through and through. And I'm so happy to be his lady. His princess.

It was such a sight! Dazzling lights and pretty girls all dolled up in great gowns; guys in suits with ties and bowties and slicked-back hair; the chattering of friends over dinner and poses and cameras on record.

A red carpet laid down to make us feel like we were more important than we really were, the food were all gone astonishingly fast, and the ever-flowing of fruit punch sweetened words and moods.

I'm just really glad how everything came out... That short moment on the dance floor with you was incredible. I felt like we could take the world by its reins and pull time to a stop. That we could go blazing down the red carpet and set it on fire. That we could do anything we wanted if we set our minds to it.

Thank you so much for a wonderful memory... And I'm thankful to be in ADP. :)

(Picture credits to Leon Yap)

Hello.

So... Fourth sem huh.

My holidays have come and gone. My blog is filled with half finished drafts. I had planned to write about third sem, then I had planned to write about Comic Fiesta, about the new friends I made, about le Petit Ami... And now I don't really think I can write about those things anymore. Fourth semester looms ahead of me like a swarm of wasps.

How odd a simile.

I'm only taking three subjects this semester. Philosophy, which I'm really looking forward to; Biology, which I think I can handle okay; Public Relations, which I'm quite neutral on. Even though it sounds easy I have a feeling it's not really going to be all sunshine and rainbows- for one I don't want to face disappoint during every test when I get my results back. Sigh.

Parents think I've got a really relaxed timetable. Well- that may seem so, sure. But to balance trying to get relatively good grades and my social life (which they agree together that I am spending too much time on) as well as le petit ami is starting to take a toll on me... The dark circles I told myself I would get rid of during the semester break is still here. I suppose they will be staying.

Just got back from Haruki's birthday party... where a bunch of cosplayers were invited. And obviously when cosplayers are given a chance to go nuts they do. And when they do... well I can't keep up. Feeling inconsequential just standing in the corner when people all know each other. I'm not saying I like to always be in the limelight... No wait yeah I like attention. Dammit. There goes my self piteous claims.

Slowly I'm starting to realize that I'm really not that great... Either that or I'm starting this insane spiral of self hating again. I thought I was over this ughhhh. Often I wonder how le petit ami puts up with me, what with mood swings and nonsensical bullshit all over the place. And yet that guy is patient as ever and considerate and loving and I just feel like I don't love him enough agdsajflkdshgldksafhagldksjf what is this agdsjflask I will come back in the morning and probably cry at myself wtf is going on hormones

But honestly... how can such a perfect guy exist... He's good at everything he does, even when he doesn't seem to show competence in it... People naturally just like him and like being around him... He's so giving and asks nothing in return...

Then I look at myself and see flaws everywhere and get depressed and think bad thoughts. And I know I can't compare, but I still pretend like I can.

What is this oh god it's like a mixture of teenager hormones and creative writing.

ahglksajf UGHHHHHHHH

End of 2012... Not the World

A friend I quite admire once told me he sits down to write everyday regardless of how bad his writing is. He told me to write at least 200 words each day to keep up my writing habit. Obviously I hadn't. If I had, I would have a lot more blog posts by now.

I can't believe 2012 is coming to an end. Has it been a year already? Sometimes I think that 2012 was forever, then I look back say that time pushes me forward too fast. (And most of the times I wish I could control time like in Final Fantasy.)

It's astonishing how much one can change in a year. If a year ago someone had whispered in my ears all the things I do today I would probably sock that person in the face and call liar. Then again I'm not pretending to say that I didn't want change, that I wasn't looking forward to a breath of fresh air.

Haha, I kid.

I don't know where this post is going. I don't know how I feel. Apprehensive about the new year, maybe. Sad about leaving the old. Promises made and secrets shared, can I keep them for another 365 days? That I may, at the end of 2013, whisper them to myself about the wonderful things of another dreamy year?

I hope so. I dearly hope so.

I don't think I need to list out the changes in 2012... Nor the things I hope to complete in 2013. After all it's not the beginning nor the end that's important, though people naturally focus on it more. It's the journey that counts. It's the adventures you embark on with comrades that make the times forever memorable.

The fireworks are starting. Happy new year, all!

Georgetown Literary Festival Class Trip!

It's Sunday, also the last day of our Creative Writing class trip. :(

Waiting at the Aeroline office at Queensbay mall now, the six of us. It's been so fun the past two days, exploring places with people my age... Since usually traveling places has been with parents and there are just some things you don't do with parents...

Had a lot of firsts this time, in Penang! It's quite interesting. I saw the town at night! We walked the streets past usual times and saw all sorts of people and pretty things. It was rather awe-inspiring to see the empty roads and little lights of pubs and backpacker hotels shining, and then wondering about them. I just wonder, actually. I don't really think too deep into things. Is that why Ms Bernice says I'm too shallow in my writing? Maybe I don't question enough. Maybe I don't speak out enough. Maybe I just smile too often and let thing wash over my head and I'm quite oblivious to the situation. Maybe. I don't know. Maybe I should know. :\

A lot of the discussions were rather detached to me. I think it's because I don't have the writer's mentality any more. I know it's completely tragic that I've lost my writing mojo but that's what you get when you can't type on a laptop and have to rely on small screens. I can't even judge properly the length of my writings. ;_; what a tragedy!

Trying to type on a bus while nursing a headache is not a good idea. My tummy is churning, I'm close to throwing up now I think. Damn.

嗯

很久没有写blog了

其实是应该做功课的。。。但是心烦

心很烦

烦到像B级影片的夸张。

（（悲

最近又睡不好了，很想全部怪你的，但又不是你的错。

啊，其实一切都是你的错。



很想讨厌你。明明就是一个超级白痴，可是却如此的可爱。。。天啊，我中毒了！

慢慢的发觉自己笑不出了，吃不下了，病起来了。

看来这个毒也中到蛮深的。。。我知道。

人生中第一次为另外一个人抓狂到酱，你什么感觉啊？有没有自满？有没有厌恶感？

若你没有厌恶感。。。对不起，我有。我痛恨现在的我，这个没有笑容、需要人家依靠的我。


为什么你说不出我想听的话？为什么我只能想到最坏的结局？

为什么我无法再好好和你面对面讲话了？


对不起
我毁了这个友情
我对不起你
也对不起自己

We Work In Threes

I feel as if it has been ages since I've last seen my two favorite girls, and when I think about it, it has been so long.

It is rare for friendship to last six years past they day we all separated- indeed, we all went to different schools and hung out with different people. We didn't even try to keep in touch for months. It's just that whenever holidays draw near, either one of us would pick up the phone and text the others. "When r u free? Go crash Ru house lor." would be one of the best texts to ever receive.

Due to SPM last year, we missed the chance to properly hang out- until Monday, exactly a week past Ru's birthday. And also because I have become the designated driver for most outings, we were suddenly open to more places to go, more flexible times.

And of course we took advantage of that.

ST and I first hung around Times Square, where we wanted to buy Ru's present. Halfway through we ended up shopping for clothes, so we got matching shirts for us all.

 I despair at my figure compared to those two.

As you can see, we are shamelessly pimping the US of A. LOL.

We did see a really pretty Union Jack bag, but since we weren't sure whether Ru would like it, we left it at that. (Only later did we learn she DID want a bag, so we despaired again, but we'll go to Times Square during the May holiday, 'kay?)

And because I was deathly afraid of being stuck in traffic jams, we left early for Ru's house. We got there super early, in the end. So to entertain ourselves, we did what we could: play with the cameraaaaaa! xD

...Not only limited to cameras, of course.

Took even MORE photos.

We were actually kind of lost in Mid Valley, since none of us was sure what to do there. We sort of drifted around the top floor, as Ru wanted to watch a movie, yet both ST and I had just about finished watching all the recent movies. Ru went all == on us. We got ourselves some Chatime, which was a rather painful experience to recall...

In the end we decided to go bowling. It was one hell of bad day for me, 'cuz my marks was exceptionally terrible. Who goes gutter 4 rounds in a row? I never want to go to Cosmic Bowl again, for the love of god. xD I'm going to stick with TS bowling alley. ST got two strikes though. Now let me go wallow in shame for a while before I come back.

Dinner was Domino's pizza. We tried the new Extreme Edge crusts, which was surprisingly good, although a tad bit salty.

And since we were waiting for the food, we took... even MORE PICTURES. Haha! xD

LOL WAT. xD

(Tbh I like the third frame the most. xD)

Current FB cover pic. :3

"Okay, so how do you use this? What do you press?" Yes, I really don't know how to use anything that isn't an iPhone. /FAIL

FINALLY, FOOD! xD

Ah~ it was amazing to just catch up on everybody's lives again, after so long. So many stories to be told. So many things to talk about.

So many weirdest antics ever. Like taking pictures in front of an open stall and literally blocking the way. xD

Yay for best friends for life! :D

ILU ♥