Holiday Laziness

Yes I've promised to blog more often; but I've been having the sort of holiday that's packed enough to deter blogging, but not enough to be exhausting. A relatively nice balance, actually.

I've got entries for weekend trips and food reviews lined up... I just have to finish writing them up lol. They'll be up soon... I hope. 

In the meantime here have a sneak peek. 

Sparks

I love how you're my motivation

and when you smile I hit the ground

and when you kiss me gently I melt

and I end up thinking of all the things I never thought I would.

.

I love how I try my best

and I won't even get tired

because at the end I know

it's worth it; you're worth it.

.

I love how we hold hands

hold pinkies hold hearts

and the silence is nothing

but warm and comfortable

.

I didn't fight so hard

fight my self my mind my life

if I didn't hope for this

and it's so much better.

.

I think I want to keep you.

SEMESTER BREAK AGAIN, FINALLY

I don't know how on earth I did it, but I survived Death Week. I might not have gotten a lot of sleep, and I have ugly stress-pimples on the side of my face now but Death Week is O.V.E.R. and I have 3 weeks of break to look forward to now!!

All I'm going to do is
1. sleep
2. eat
3. read
4. blog

with smatterings of DIY crafts, writing, cycling and other stuff I'm too tired to think of and lacking motivation to do.

I'm hoping to whatever higher power that I get relatively good grades this semester considering the amount of shit I went through, because if I don't I will be sorely disappointed at myself and I doubt I can handle next semester's subjects very well.

Also, ALISON TAN. YOU ENJOY YOURSELF IN AMERICA OKAY. OMG GIRL. YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST. *cries*

Thank you for being a brilliant best friend, love all the silly things we've done. :)

We'll be fated to meet each other again, don't you worry!

Looking forward to all my socializing later this week! (⊙‿⊙✿)

It's Okay To Be Angry.

Sometime last week I found this on Taylor's Confession page... And judging by how often we hang out at SLC and how many other couples give foot massages (read: none) I have no doubt it was directed at le petit ami.

Friends kept telling me that my anger was unnecessary and that it shows how insecure I am in my relationship. That I need to trust him, and just take a chill pill.

Let me get things straight: I am not insecure that le petit ami will run off with some other girl, because thinking that is not only far-fetched, it is an insult to him. I am, however, angry that some girls think it is okay to think of other people's boyfriends this way.

First let me address something rather alarming at the response I get: why do people say I shouldn't get angry? In fact, what is there to not get angry about? I feel violated at this statement. I feel violated on behalf of  le petit ami as well. To make it easier to digest my analysis, this confession has the following:

1. Acknowledgement of a public relationship between two people
2. Subsequent disregard of the girlfriend
3. Replacement of self into the role of the girlfriend
4. Assumption that my boyfriend would heed his/her offer of sex without love and commitment

Is my anger clear now? On all levels this person has disrespected both of us and our relationship together. A relationship that, mind you, has been smooth sailing and high flying for close to a year.

In this case I again strongly enforce that it is not wrong to be angry for the right reasons. Someone disrespecting you/your partner/your relationship IS a right reason.

Yes, this person is just saying stuff on the Internet, where bullshit can be said with no consequences, yes s/he shouldn't be a threat to our relationship if we're strong enough, yes I should trust my boyfriend... but while I do all this why am I told be chill? Why can't I be angry to defend myself?

Which brings me to secondly: the dignity of such a person. How on earth do you disrespect someone else's relationship like that? How much disrespect do you have towards yourself to offer your body in exchange for such a service, with someone you don't know and don't love? You're like a cashless version of a prostitute: I don't think I missed the mark when I name you 'bitch'. There is a great deal of hate for the third party in relationships meant for two, and there is a reason why: they don't deserve any respect, because they don't have any, for themselves or for others.

Le petit ami and I discussed the possibility of the person maybe just admiring our relationship and how well I'm treated. But I'm sensitive to words. I know this person isn't coming from the point of admiration, but selfish want. The want to have someone treat him/her like that. Look, if you want a great boyfriend, firstly be the sort of person that matches up to a great person.

For context: a great boyfriend won't cheat. If you can get a boyfriend by being the third wheel (and eventually kicking out the previous girlfriend and becoming the second), what stops the boyfriend from doing the same to you? Dumping your sorry ass for another third wheel? And so obviously he's not a great boyfriend. In short, don't do this third wheel shit because karma will come back and fuck you up.

So will the previous girlfriend, she'd probably key your car and bust his tyres, just sayin'.

It all boils down to respect: respect others, and they'll respect you too.

(Ps. There has been two other confessions about how cute le petit ami is and I wholly agree with those because of the lack of malicious motives behind such confessions. I don't get angry for nothing.)

Prom Night

What a prom. What a prom.

Sure prom is overrated and silly, but it was still an amazing night. Probably one I'll never forget.

It saddens me how the aptly named theme Bittersweet struck a chord. The thought that after prom, we're all going to be leaving to different places. Ali and Leanne won't be in Taylor's to hang out with anymore... No more lunch sessions or girl talk or dirty little secrets.

Le petit ami dressed incredibly for the night. <3 I'm so proud of him! Whoever knew the guy with the hobo pants and sad house shirts could clean up to be the best gentleman in town? Because that's exactly what he is, a proper gentleman through and through. And I'm so happy to be his lady. His princess.

It was such a sight! Dazzling lights and pretty girls all dolled up in great gowns; guys in suits with ties and bowties and slicked-back hair; the chattering of friends over dinner and poses and cameras on record.

A red carpet laid down to make us feel like we were more important than we really were, the food were all gone astonishingly fast, and the ever-flowing of fruit punch sweetened words and moods.

I'm just really glad how everything came out... That short moment on the dance floor with you was incredible. I felt like we could take the world by its reins and pull time to a stop. That we could go blazing down the red carpet and set it on fire. That we could do anything we wanted if we set our minds to it.

Thank you so much for a wonderful memory... And I'm thankful to be in ADP. :)

(Picture credits to Leon Yap)

Growing Up

So, tomorrow night is prom night. I'll be going with le petit ami, in something I would never have worn and shoes I used to deem stupid.

I'm not sure if I'm growing up or just growing insensitive.

Long ago I made the decision to stop dressing like a high school kid. Unfortunately I still do sometimes, but I've been putting in effort to at least look decently dressed. (Then again that relies on your definition of freedom, hehe.) I've tried to "spruce up your look!" with accessories, which according to all the magazine and fashion tips online is destined to work.

Well I sorta agree with them on that.

I've been wondering when would be the proper time to ever wear heels to uni, or if I ever would. I mean in terms of casual wear, when I literally just feel like it. I've been wondering if I ever would.

Image is undeniably important. Such an unconscious thing and we do it all the time.

I'm not hoping to suddenly change my image overnight... but somehow I think it's getting there.

Growing up. It means losing everything.

Updates.

Recently noticed that I've been getting a lot more easily agitated and a lot more petty and childish. This is never a good thing, and right now it is not a good thing at all.

True to the Self-fulfilling Prophecy, I foresee arguments over the horizon and in hindsight it was mostly because I was too hung up about stuff that really didn't matter.

Oh well. I haven't been writing much, I've been swamped with work and events and social obligations. :\ My mind is a mess, and I don't like it. I need to stop this and focus.

Onto sweeter notes, prom is this Saturday! I've been busy this week preparing for prom (last minute again, as usual.) and finally bought a really chic dress. I'm aiming for blue pumps to go with it, so I guess all I'm buying is win-win. xD (See, I go for practicality and reusability too!)

Life has been challenging... but I'm sure it'll only get better from here!