That Grey Myvi

Technically it's my brother's, but who cares about technicalities, anyways?

However the fact is irrefutable that I am now legally able to drive a car. The implications of it are numerous.

Firstly, I am now responsible for other people's lives. I know how I've always jokingly said I don't know how to cross roads, and am only suitable to be sitting behind the wheel and running over unsuspecting passersby. But now that I really can drive, it scares me a little to be on the road. Scratch that, it scares me a LOT. That my parents love to show me pictures and stories of horrific road accidents doesn't help. Not to mention that I have a vivid imagination that runs away frequently, so every time I stop just a little to think, I conjure up the wildest ways that shit will turn real and kill me. Dafuq, IKR.

Secondly, I am broke. Maintaining a car is going to make my wallet morph into an onion.

Since obviously I'm the sort of person who buys things on impulse, I can already image what my car would look like. Full of stuffed toys and figurines. ._.

Close enough.

I can only start to imagine how much fuel I'll be using, since this is going to happen anyway.

I'm wondering whether asking for a credit card will be too much for my dad.

...Nah, I guess not. xD

I suppose I could help drop people off... First person to come to mind is Nat, I still feel kind of guilty for making you stay so long for the V-day party even though it kinda sucked and you were tired and shit like that. Q_Q Know that I love you!

Tim can get his own driver to fetch him, lol. :p

Despite all that, the only thing I'm most excited about is that I can stay back for dodgeball!! (See? Dedication right there.) and basically go home late without worrying about transport. 8) It'll be nice to not feel bad about my parents driving from the other end of town and back again just to pick me up. To quote James Blunt, my life is brilliant.

The Pains Of Going Hungry...

I need better control over myself especially when it comes to buying things. Every time I have money in my wallet I use them all. Especially if there comes up something that catches my eye.

Not particularly that I want it, or even need it, just... catches my eye.

Shit.

Anyway, it's only Tuesday and I have $15 left in my wallet. That's just sad, isn't it? And since it isn't enough for 2 full meals, I decided to do the dumb thing and wait 'till dinner to eat, because I'll be having dodgeball later. And I would've skipped if I hadn't been confirmed of skipping on Thursday 'cuz of my driving lessons, which wouldn't have been postponed if Lab didn't start this week

I'm trying to rationalize my actions while raving mad.

Hunger makes me go so mad, I only just noticed. The intense bad mood threatened to ruin my whole day. It did not help that ADP classrooms are about as comfortable as the North Pole, really.

Fucking hell, I'm so hungry. T^T

So much for that diet plan, eh, Natalie?

So I'm At the Mac Lab...

The Frontiers interview just ended. Honestly, I was in such a haze at the time I wasn't sure if I was Doing It Right.

Nervousness does not become me. :(

I wonder if I was too upfront when I described myself as "smart". Because really, I'm smart. I just don't use my smartness in the right ways.

I CAN CON YOU OUT OF YOUR ALLOWANCE. I just choose not to. /shot thrice

I'd only know the outcome by next week. THAT'S 3 DAYS. That's like, 72 HOURS. That's... That's when I'll need to pass up my English assignment draft. Bah.

I've been spending my entire week at the Mac Lab doing that thing I do and it is only now, when I want to break out my English assignment and get that shit done before the weekend that I notice:

THE iMACS, THEY DON'T HAVE PAGES.

What is the meaning of this! I pay so much effing tuition fees and you cannot get iWork FOR THE 500 MACS IN THE ENTIRE SCHOOL?!

So now I am listening to Jun Sung Ahn's violin cover of It Will Rain by Bruno Mars and blogging, when I should really be writing that essay.

What the heck, Imma go grab lunch with Eunice first.

I Start To Taste Exhaustion

I am a little stressed right now.

Just yesterday I received an email telling me to prepare a resume and portfolio to get a spot in Frontiers, Taylor's editorial board. And then prepare for interviews too.

I think I freaked out about it for a good two hours before I start thinking about what to write. And when my mind came up blank, I knew I was in trouble.

Therefore, in times like these, we turn to our best bet: google. And yet after web-surfing a few sites and articles, I am still unsure of how to write a proper resume. Experiences? I'm only 18! I've never even had a part-time job, unless you count typing up reports for my uncle! I've never joined the editorial club for my high school, either. So what the hell do I put into my resume?? Stressing about this made pimples break out on my forehead again, this sucks so bad.

Good god I'm so tired.

At least I finished my portfolio. My one page, comic-style portfolio. It is harder than it looks. I spent the better part of the night planning, sketching, drawing and inking it, and my hands are shaking a little. Although that may be because I'm seriously tired right now. Ahhhhhh so stress!!! QAQ

I really, really, really want to get into Frontiers~!!!

I think I'll have weird dreams tonight.

The Anger Switch

Everybody has an anger switch, that one little thing that will turn you from a gentle person to raging ball of fury. Sometimes, looking back, it seems that it wasn't that big an issue to lose your head over it, but you couldn't control the anger at that particular moment, when your anger switch was triggered.

Which is why it is of the utmost importance that you find your anger switch, to save yourself and others the hurt, pain and confusion that will surely come with the accidental trigger of your anger switch.

My anger switch is when someone tells me that I go against who I think I am. To put in simpler terms, I hate it when someone tells me that I'm doing things that goes against my own morals or characteristics that I hold in high regard. For example, I know that I am good in English, has an uncanny sense of direction, and I am a very loyal friend. If someone were to say, for example, "Your English is terrible." or "You have a terrible sense of direction." or "You always backstab your friends, don't you?" I am going to bite his/her head off so violently he/she would wish he/she were in a video game.

I don't really mind much if they have proper evidence to support themselves, like telling me where my English is terrible, and how I can improve it; or when I really do lose my way someplace (highly unlikely) and just teasingly; but when you bring something up when I am just awake, you have insulted me and left me unprepared to control my anger switch, and I will slam the door, thank you very much. Although in today's case I'd say I did a rather good job of not yelling and calming myself down.

Triggers for my anger switch change across time, but not dramatically. A few years back I could easily lose my head over someone telling me I draw like shit, but now I have accepted the fact that yes, I draw like shit. A little better than shit, but not much.

Pinpointing my own anger switch lets me lose my anger less often, and increased my lifespan by a good few years due to not losing my anger that much. It has also let me seen that I am indeed an egoistical person who isn't willing to tell me what to do, and I have no idea whether that's good or not.

Either way, don't flip my anger switch. Especially concerning my sense of direction.

But feel free to point out all my other flaws, like being shit in drawing, or having the tidying skills of a raccoon.