I never saw her full written statement until today. And after reading it, I realized... she's not.
Why is it that so many people seem absolutely outraged that she was looking forward to a big birthday celebration? Why is it that people are calling her a gold digger and a bitch?
Can I just say, quite simply, that... her love language is different?
I am not one of those gold-digger girls who is looking for a rich husband. Case in point, if I were, my boyfriend would have been struck off the list long ago.
To make things clear, I myself am very generous to my boyfriend in gifting him with presents. I am not trying in any way to cheat his money.
They've been together for slightly less than a year- true, if she was she wouldn't have even bothered that much. She also explains that she splurges on her boyfriend. All this simply point to the fact that yes, she values money and class- but that doesn't necessarily make her a gold digger.
According to the 5 love languages; of which there is affirmation, service, gifts, intimacy and quality time; she strongly displays her love with gifts, that much is obvious. That would mean that to her, she feels loved when people shower her with gifts. That would explain why she feels disappointed at a simple dinner and card: there's no gift. It's not expensive. She feels valueless. She feels that her boyfriend doesn't even care enough for her to spend on her birthday, instead bringing her to a casual place and giving her a seemingly valueless (in terms of monetary value) card. That also explains why she spends on him- because that's her way of expressing love.
Her boyfriend, on the other hand, obviously doesn't express his love the same way. He would most likely express it in terms of quality time and probably intimacy- but he obviously does not show his love with gifts. That's why, to him, he would feel that a handmade card is worth more than a store-bought gift.
It's really a simple case of misunderstanding each other's love languages- what they need to do is be aware of this, and work towards a mutual love language. (Love languages are also not exclusive; many people have a mix of all five, but there is one sort that we would feel most comfortable with.)
I can safely say that she doesn't deserve many of the negative comments she's receiving- people, that is bordering on cyber bullying- so do stop and think about it. While you're at it, check out your own love language.
Image stolen from the internet.
It's not hard to determine your own love language, and that of your partner's. Notice what they get super upset about (missing a date or not giving birthday gifts) and notice what is it they do for you that you feel super happy about. Also try to pick clues from usual conversation- notice what they mention during birthdays etc. "I love it when my boyfriend always buys me lots of gifts for Christmas! ♥︎" as opposed to "I love it when my boyfriend always asks me out for Christmas lunch! ♥︎"
Again, as I mentioned, one person can always have more than one type of love language. So do learn this and understand yourself and your partner more, for a better relationship!
*note: love language also can refer to parents, friends or others; basically anyone you have relation to.
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