Sleepless Night. Again.

Just what I need. A good dose of drama before Animax Carnival. It's a good thing I'll be dead tomorrow to fit being dead and all.

Haha.

I don't fucking know how to deal with this. I follow my will and get scolded, I don't follow my will and get told off, I do nothing and get kicked around.

Guys. GUYS. PLEASE. JUST STOP.

It's good to know that you know I'm not who I seem to be, in all honestly it relieves me somewhat because finally I understand all the accusations and sharp poisoned words. Then I am obliged to get angry because that's how you think of me: as if I'm low and shallow and falling. As if I need saving.

I could possibly be falling and not even know it.

I am torn. Stuck between a rock and a hard place. Out of the fire and into the frying pan. A pinch of pepper in a mouth of chili. It's not like I don't trust and respect you. I do. But sometimes I want to walk my own ways, not the way you show me. Sure it'll be difficult and I'll probably fall and scrape my knees. But is that not how you find the most beautiful of things? That is because they're not found by the roadside?

Opposing arguments and never a neutral compromise. I don't like this any more than you do.